Nincompoop and the Green Muck

Tom and Jerry came on immediately after Sesame Street, so occasionally when Mother was busy and Sesame Street was over, I got the chance to watch violence on TV for a few minutes. Mother would come into the room, annoyed at herself for letting time get away from her and switch the 8" black and white TV off using a little dirty knob at the base.

On one occasion Tom had sent Jerry into a sneezing fit by sprinkling pepper on his head. I wondered, "did pepper really make one sneeze?" And, "By what mechanism is this accomplished?" So, being the young curios man that I was, I lifted myself onto the counter and picked up a crystal pepper shaker with a dented aluminum lid. With my feet firmly on the ground, I sprinkled a little on my head. Nothing. I sprinkled a little more. Nothing. Then, I tipped my head back until it was upside down and really shook the pepper up my nostrils. I waited, nothing, and then like a hot coal my nose and sinuses began to burn. I gagged, I sneezed, I coughed, I sneezed some more. I began to cry, but this only made it worse as my nose began to be stuffy. I sneezed and sneezed. Great green gobs of pepper muck. The green turned to red as my nose began to bleed.

Later on my Mother called me a name that I didn't know at the time but knew better thereafter. Nincompoop.